I have always been fascinated by how damaging narcissists can be to a business. This is especially true when they become leaders. A narcissist at work can tank morale and sabotage their chances of success due to their inability to work well with others. Does that sound like anyone in your organization?
How to Identify a Toxic Narcissist at Work
It’s hard to know where you stand with a narcissist at work, as they’ll lavish praise on you one minute and be irate with you the next. Still, there is a difference between a run-of-the-mill egoist and a person with narcissistic personality disorder. Here are 10 signs of a true narcissist in the workplace.
- Complete lack of empathy.
- Envy of others.
- Constant need for validation.
- Fragile ego.
- Resorts to manipulation and gaslighting.
- Emotional volatility.
- Arrogance.
- Inability to accept criticism.
- Obsessed with power and success.
- Sense of entitlement or superiority.
Dealing with Narcissism in the Workplace
Dealing with a narcissist at work regularly can be draining, leading to stress, anxiety, reduced morale, and ultimately burnout if you’re not careful. If you find yourself in this situation, there are a few strategies that can make working with a narcissist more bearable. Here’s what you need to know.
First, knowledge is power. Although narcissists can seem unpredictable in terms of mood swings and anger issues, their behavior does follow a pattern. If you do some research and know what to look out for, these rollercoaster moments will feel much less destabilizing. You’ll also better understand how to avoid being manipulated and gaslit. Most narcissists blame others for problems and rarely accept responsibility for a mistake or wrong decision.
Second, rethink the way you communicate with your narcissist at work. When possible, keep conversations brief and avoid arguments. A narcissist will never admit they’re wrong, which means confronting them will only frustrate you. Come to every conversation armed with statistics and facts, then keep emotion out of the equation. However, narcissists often shape details into weapons. Be careful to share too many specifics, or they might bludgeon you later. It’s difficult, but try hard not to take their criticism personally.
Third, be sure to document your interactions with the narcissist whenever possible. Send email recaps of meaningful verbal conversations for confirmation to avoid being framed for problems later on. You can keep this documentation for your reference or take it to HR if needed. You might even consider legal action if the behavior rises to the level of harassment.
Fourth, develop coping mechanisms that can help you stay sane. Part of this must include a trusted support system of friends, family, and potentially other employees who understand what you’re going through. Create a proper work-life balance and find ways to decompress when you’re off the clock. You might even consider a therapist.
Finally, you might decide that finding a new job is the best option for your well-being. In that case, avoiding telling your narcissistic boss where you will work next is a good idea. Narcissists do not handle rejection well—don’t risk them sabotaging your new role.
You might not be able to control a narcissist at work, but you can control your behavior. As a business coach, I’ve helped countless clients develop strategies to survive and thrive in the workplace. Sign up for my email list for complimentary blog articles about leadership and more delivered to your inbox weekly.
Coach Dave
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