One of the Top Regrets of the Dying

Written several years ago, the simple article “Top Five Regrets of the Dying” recounts the lessons a hospice worker in Australia learned from her departing patients.

As Bronnie Ware, a former palliative care worker, shares, “For many years, I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some extraordinary times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.” Her unique perspective offers a profound insight into the regrets of the dying.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their mortality. I learned to appreciate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced various emotions, as expected: denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial, and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed, though, every one of them.

Common themes surfaced repeatedly when questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently. Here is one of the most common comments:

“I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.”

Often, they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks, and tracking them down was not always possible. Many had become so caught up in their lives that they had let golden friendships slip by. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. However, it is not money or status that holds importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually, they are too ill and weary ever to manage this task. It all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks: love and relationships.

Sorry for the bummer blog article, but in the whirlwind of our business lives, this has surely happened to you. I have certainly been guilty of finding the time to stay in touch with my old friends over the years. So, I am now focused on reconnecting with my former business colleagues and friends to ensure I won’t have this worry someday. I hope you will do the same.

Coach Dave